This shall henceforth be the official thread for these useless but amusing misreads.
So far we have, with "Panda" and "Fat George" additions:
"Boarded butch ship with Bed Slut by idiot. Sighted Fat George. Dated Lifebuoy. Abandon Sky"
(Transl. Boarded Dutch ship with Bed Sheet by accident. Sighted Fort George. Tested Lifebuoy. Abandon Ship")
And another mondegreen courtesy of randi_2's and my misreadings:
Panda empty. Hands to suffer. Hands murdered.
(Transl. Hands employed. Hands to supper. Hands mustered.)
It might be embellished with hyperlinks of the actual text for the misread elements. If someone were able to put little boxes with the misread text somewhere I could link to I will edit this.