The Letters and Art of Old Weather

[Kathy]

I thought it advisable to start a thread just for the doggerel that I come up with and that only my fellow OWers might possibly understand and find amusing - my family just stares at me blankly when I recite this to them.  I think this stuff just comes to be for 2 reasons -

1)  In my family we make up songs for everything
2) My day job, right now, doesn't require a massive of amount of thought, so I find myself musing on Old Weather (just like the rest of you, I'm sure  )

So, since this is a separate thread, you can read on or not, your choice.  If you choose to continue, I hope you as much fun with this as I do and I invite you to add to this thread with your own works -

Kathy W. 

[Kathy]

The weather codes inspired this one:

DTRLGQ

Don't know why,
there's no bc in the sky,
dtrlgq
since my ship's done left me,
keeps fhmp all of the time.

Oh yeah, journey's done,
wind force eleven to twelve,
dtrlgq, dtrlgq.
And I am not the captain anymore,
Oh, I'm not the captain anymore.

When I got thrown off,
choices had to be made.
If this one, hand writing will get me,
that one 6 times a day.
What to do,
help me make a choice of ship.

Can't pick,
every choice is wrong.
dtrlgq, dtrlgq,
since my ship and I,
me and my ship ain't together,
keeps fhmp all of the time.

(Sung to the tune of Stormy Weather)

[Caro]

   I'll keep reading Kathy. I came across my first instance of OW in the weather codes today.

[Kathy]

An Old Weather tale of woe:

Oops!

There, we have had our turn,
painted and cleaned from stem to stern.
Lets hope she stays this way,
if not you'll hear me say...

Oops!

Well, now she'll get all grungy,
because I've lost me spongy!
Am I the idiot of whom they speak?

Sigh, got no time for that now,
just hope she won't get too foul,
but we have got to go
and give some one a tow...
 
Oops!

Well, now we've lost our tow line,
I'm sure that ship will be fine.
Is is possible I'm the idiot of whom they speak?

Got no time to worry,
we are in a hurry,
it is time for us to sail away,
so the Captain orders "anchors aweigh"

Oops!

We'll not get where we were bound,
as is seems we have run aground.
I am the idiot of whom they speak!

[Kathy]

I have been given to understand that it is Towel Day and asked to translate a bit of Vogan poetry in honor thereof.  Brace yourselves, Vogan poetry is generally regarded to be the 3rd worst in the known universe.*

*Disclaimer:  Do not read if you are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant.  Side effects to exposure to Vogan poetry include nausea, vomiting, large purple blotches about one's body, and the sudden and violently rude expelling of gases.

Mercifully Short Ode to Old Weather (as translated from the Vogan):

What makes a young Vogan's heart abroxipate fromishly*?
Why, oh why, can they not see,
the ships go on.
OH WHY DOES IT ENDURE?
Suffering every day at 6:00pm (or 1800 hours depending)
Hoisting hags.
There is a great clashing.
Run away, run away.
WE SUFFER FROM ENEMA, PSORIASIS, AND OTHER WOES.

*It is not possible to translate this into English - humans have neither the words nor the physiology to deal with this concept.

[Bunting Tosser]

That brought frixles to my umbigentralaglia.
Truly.
_{Where is my towel? I need some protein.}

<Yesterday was also a notable day; R. Zimmerman was seventy.>

[Caro]

Brava! 

[Kathy]

thanks - I must go drink heavily now to recover from my brush with Vogan poetry and I recommend you do the same -

I'm sorry Bunts, but I can't place that name -

[Bunting Tosser]

I'm sorry Bunts, but I can't place that name -

You're messing with me; right?

"It ain't me, Babe"
But I'm not offended.
"Don't think twice, it's alright"

[Kathy]

No, sorry, I'm drawing a complete blank as to who R. Zimmerman is - sometimes that happens - old age I guess -

[Bunting Tosser]

What?
Even with the clues?

All together - Bob Dylan.

[Kathy]

I don't like Bob Dylan and don't really know any of his songs - his "singing" drives me crazy, but yes, I know that is was HIS birthday yesterday.

[Bunting Tosser]

I don't like Bob Dylan

Pity.
He speaks very highly of you. 

[Kathy]

Ok - I don't know him personally, so I can't say I don't like him, but...

*on my singer's soap box*

Crooning in a slightly flat monotone drone (to my ears anyway) just ruins what ever one might be saying in their lyrics - I find myself saying "Use your diaphragm" and "Get your pitch up"

*off soap box*

Kathy

[Caro]

As promised to the proprietor of this thread, I have translated another even more mercifully short Vogon poem.

Tell me why, oh Tosser of Bunting,
why the seagulls wheel above the water,
shrieking like the krikkling winds of Kria?
Our mission ships ride the oceans
like dauntless adventurers
Seeking r and b and sometimes S,
Caring nothing for the tyranny of consistency.
Follow them! They are mighty!